In 21 days my husband met and slept with:
a mother of three –
who herself has two divorces under her belt –
who just turned 30 –
and was going to break up our 11 year marriage to move in with her.
A woman he has known for 21 days.
I keep repeating he has known her, and not known her – for 21 days, because I am still confounded by the fact that 21 days is not long enough to really know someone well enough to decide you want to move in with them, when the cost of that decision is breaking up everything you have built for the last 11 years.
My husband and the 21-day woman planned a camping trip together, with other families from my five-year-old daughter’s school, on a weekend they knew I could not attend.
The entire camping trip was set up so my husband and the 21-day woman could spend two nights together without causing suspicion. “Hiding in plain sight” as they say.
I think the two night camping trip must have sealed the deal for my husband because after this trip he lost his mind.
Too many s’mores and guided meditations.
(More on that later).
Because after that camping trip, he is willing to break up our family.
He is willing to abandon his integrity, by lying to me for nearly a month, for the pursuit of the unknown.
We, he and I, have been friends for 15 years.
He is willing to risk our lives together, and the life we set up for our daughter.
He is willing to put our only child’s home, as she knows it, in jeopardy. By having an affair with a mother whose children attend the same school as our daughter, he is willing to put our daughter’s second safe haven, her school, in jeopardy, which will no longer be the safe place she knows it to be because her father may be living with one of her classmates, and not at home with her.
He is willing to risk his relationship with his child. He is willing to risk time with her. He is willing to give up nights where he and his child sleep under the same roof because now she will have two homes. He is willing to give her the confusion of having two homes.
He is willing to risk her legacy, and everything which is “normal” and safe and secure in her life will change. His choices ensure everything will be different from this point on for this five-year old child.
Everything she has known up until this point will be turned on its head. For this child, up will no longer be up, and down will no longer be down because everything she thought she knew, she will second guess. He is willing to put her through the pain of a divorce.
He is willing to do all of that to our daughter to move in with a woman he has known for 21 days.